Last week was normal. W said that Friday she needed to be at work early and be there until at least 5:30. I said no problem that I’d get S. She’d covered for me all week while I had some work stuff that went a little late so no complaints about that. Of course who’d have known I’d come down with a crappy cold. So I left work early to get a little rest before having to pick up S and noticed her car at The Hangout. Shouldn’t have looked. Should have kept eye fixed forward as I drove by.
I got S and brought him home, did an easy dinner, and let him hang out and watch TV while I rested. No big deal. I should mention that D is now a high schooler with a car so she’s pretty independent of us. More on that shortly.
Later in the evening W came in, much earlier than expected, and said she just need to grab something and “go back” for a while. That part was true, but the implication of where was misleading. Whatever. I went to sleep as soon as S did.
Saturday morning W and D sleep in while I take care of things. When W gets up she has the cold too and is pretty miserable.
Sunday morning the same. Somewhere later in the day she notices that she’s feeling crappy and realizes it was harder for me to cover everything since I’d been through the same. I actually am happy to hear the acknowledgement.
At some point, I think it was Sunday night, I bring up the question of where D should spend Thanksgiving. She’d been asking to go out of town with her friend. W had already committed us to dinner at The Friends. Apparently I asked this somewhat clumsily since I really just wanted to discuss it, but she thought it was a demand. She said fine (I thought) and agreed. D asked me later said can she go since mom said maybe she could. Yeah, basically I got caught in the classic ask mom/ask dad thing. I should have know better and said we’ll discuss it more to make sure we were actually in agreement.
The odd thing was Sunday night was fine. We hung out and went to bed. I had to get up and go sleep in a chair because I was so congested, which is not unusual.
Monday night… I picked up S, we did homework, chores etc. I went to go to bed somewhat early since I was still not feeling 100%. W came in and started in on me about the Thanksgiving thing. Then came to bed and continued. I said that I was sorry I brought it up (which I genuinely was and am), and she accused me of a lot of things that I thought were unfair about that conversation. In the end she said something unrelated then immediately retracted it. I tried to make amends but she went outside to smoke (and told me she was doing so) then came back an hour or so later, didn’t say a word, and went to sleep. I literally stayed up all night sitting in bed since this was so heavy on me.
Here’s the thing about that fight though: It was among the more coherent we’ve had. I refrained from retorting (and boy did I think it) about her being out all the time, or the inconsistency, or trying to debate some of the chaff arguments that she threw out along the way. But she actually told me what was bothering her. And while she’d clearly been drinking earlier in the night she was not acting it during this fight.
And here’s the other odd part, Tuesday while I’m at work she emails me an apology and some more explanation. I answered as truthfully and even-handedly as I could. It’s still going to be an awkward and crappy holiday though.
Then there’s Tuesday night. I did go to bed early this time because I’d had no sleep Monday night. About 2am I wake up and she’s not there. House was quiet. I did not get up to see if her car was in the driveway. About 4am she’s on the phone with someone downstairs talking loudly. About 5 or so (I think) she’s in bed. I wake up and get D to school. There’s an empty wine bottle in the recycle and a half-empty bottle on the counter.
I have literally no fucking idea what this is about. I don’t think it’s about Thanksgiving plans. There’s more going on. It’s not job stress. This job seems genuinely all around better than the last. There’s a manic edge to all of this that I don’t understand.
Administrative note: Looks like 2-3 new people discovered this blog and read it through. I’m too chicken to reread so I don’t know what it’s like in total. If you came here looking for answers, I’m sorry I don’t have any.